Monday, December 5, 2011

An airplane, short shorts, and a cattle rancher.

Well. Well. Well.  I've been wondering when my next "only me" moment was going to happen, and I didn't have to wonder long.  Thank you to the human race for being so very diverse, fantastic and amusing.  Thank you as well for being tolerant, it's a virtue too many of us are lacking.

Yesterday I was on an airplane.  That wasn't the the interesting part.  I was on the airplane, and as everyone loaded in, I couldn't help but to play the "don't make eye contact" card and hope that everyone sat around me, but not next to me.  C'mon... we all love that extra room when no one takes the middle seat on a flight.  Well, as the awesome flight attendants announced for the third or fourth time, "this is a completely full flight, please find a seat and sit in it", I knew it was just a matter of time.

Then it happened.  He sat.  Him, his legs, and his VERY short shorts.... they sat in my row, in the aisle seat (I like the window so I can lean and sleep). 

Now it was just a matter of time before the middle seat was taken.  I was hoping the girl I was traveling with would fill the seat, but no luck.   It happened.  A girl (I feel weird calling her a lady as she was probably my age - young ) said to the man in short shorts, "Excuse me, is anyone in that seat"?  Then.... IT HAPPENED.  Short shorts gets up, and DOESN'T LET HER IN!  No.. no... that would be too easy, too nice to the innocent bystander occupying the window seat.  Instead, short shorts, gets up and scoots into the middle seat!  Right next to ME!  Oh heavens.  I have not had that much exposed stranger skin next to me since sometime in college at a bar... 

Anyhow, I determine it best to just mind my own Kindle and keep to myself.  Not five minutes later it starts unraveling.  This had to be one of the most entertaining flights I've had in a while.  A long while.  The 2 year old little boy three rows back starts having a panic attack.  Yes, you read that right.  PANIC ATTACK.   Let me clarify - BLOOD CURDLING SCREAMS and GASPING for AIR in BETWEEN!  Good times people, good times.  My heart broke for him.  It was awful.  Poor little guy, I just wanted to go hold him.  Obviously his parents didn't have the same feeling.  They literally said, "Oh it's a panic attack, he'll just scream and freak out a little longer and then pass out in exhaustion".  OH...ha ha... is that all!?!?!  Ok, I thought maybe we should worry, but that sounds like an awesome plan.  WHA??????  I've heard of letting a baby cry it out, but COME ON a two year old who is knowingly having a PANIC ATTACK?  Can't we do something?  SOMETHING?  Well, the girl in the aisle seat whips out a little stuffed horse she bought for her daughter, handed it to the flight attendant and said, "please, give this to him and see if it helps".  Imagine that... what a novel idea - comfort the child having a panic attack.  Genius.  Best part... it HELPED!  Nobel Peace Prize to the lady in the aisle seat!

Then, as Panic Attack settled (passed out), Short Shorts started reading his book in some foreign language, and Nobel Prize whipped out her book, I figured we were on our way.  We were.  Ahhhh....

The flight continued for a good while with everyone keeping to themselves.  It was lovely.  Then.  It happened.  A conversation between Short Shorts and Nobel Prize.

Short Shorts: Where are you from?

Nobel Prize: Colorado

Short Shorts: What were you doing in Reno?

Nobel Prize:  My husband and I were at a cattle show.  We're cattle ranchers. (She will now be referred to as "Cattle Rancher")

Short Shorts: You were showing cattle?

Cattle Rancher:  No, buying them.

Short Shorts:  (Pause) Oh.  So, you buy cattle?

Cattle Rancher:  Yes.  Cattle. Embryos. Semen. 

Short Shorts:  (Pause)  Oh. And then you ...???

Cattle Rancher:  Slaughter them, or sell them for slaughter. 

Short Shorts:  Oh.  So you don't eat meat then?  I can't imagine that you would eat them after raising them?

Cattle Rancher:  Oh, are you kidding, I LOVE meat!  After working cattle all day, you WANT to kill them!  Ha ha.  There's nothing better than a good steak.

Short Shorts:  I'm vegan.

HA HA HA!!!!  I almost burst out laughing!  But instead, my eyeballs BURST out of my head and I had to quickly put them back in!  Luckily, all ended well and they were sweet and tolerant of one another and their chosen lifestyle. 

It doesn't get much better than this people.  I can't make this stuff up.

Monday, September 5, 2011

Happiness on a Saturday Morning

So.  The day has come.  Well, actually the day came last weekend, and this weekend it just reassured me that I wasn't having a dream, it was true.  The Pioneer Woman has her own cooking show!!!  WHAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

Last weekend it was so exciting and fantastic, but this weekend I was actually able to watch and pay attention rather than just gasp in awe at the fact that Ree is on TV!  YAY!  I love LOVE L.O.V.E The Pioneer Woman.  My friend Rae turned me on to her a while back.  In fact I've posted about my love for The Pioneer Woman before.  She's simply Fan-Tastic!  Oh, I just LOVE HER!

Anyhow, I was so thrilled to have her on again, and in my home with me on a Saturday morning.  Yes, I actually took photos of my TV... Don't judge!

 Hi Ree!  Oh, are you talking to me?  Yes, I'm here and I'm totally enjoying my lesson on Mac n' Cheese and Sliders.  YUM!

 Onions... Yum, but I can' only photograph them.  Josh HATES onions, so I must live in envy.

FYI - I made the mac n' cheese.  Deeeee-lish!  So delightful.  I plan on making lots of her stuff.  I actually have her cookbook and need to start putting it to use.  I tend to get stuck in ruts... and it's time to get out!  It's not like we're cowboys or anything, but I know my hubby does enjoy a good hearty meal.

But now that I'm thinking about it, maybe I'll make him wear some chaps every time I cook a meal from her cookbook?  Hmmmm.... now we're talkin'!!!


Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Let's. Catch. Up.

Ok... so, let's catch up.  But let's not take forever to do it.  Let's pretend that we're friends who haven't seen each other in years, and run into each other in passing at the airport and have to fill each other in as fast as possible with what's going on!

I'll go first....

Sidekick started standing on his own a while back.  Shortly after he figured that out, he started walking.  Now he's practically running (and falling) everywhere!   He has lots and lots of words and cracks us up all the time.  Oh my, he's so funny and so cute!  I just don't  know where he gets it from (wink wink).

His favorite game is "boo"!  And just about every animal he sees is a "doggie".  Sorry cows... you are officially "doggies" until further notice.  Oh, and if the child could be in water all the time, life would be GRAND.  I think he'll be a future Cirque de Solei performer.. or maybe an Olympic swimmer.  Watch out!  Hmmm... but maybe a golfer, he's pretty dang good at golf already.  Then again, I'm not all that keen on golf, so I'll think we'll stick with baseball?  I dunno... he seems to be pretty good with that bat! 
(BIG inhale gasping for air as though I've just talked myself out of all air reserves in my lungs).  Whew! 

Oh, and my husband?  Yep, he's hot.  Still love him.  He's a great daddy to Sidekick.  That pretty much sums it up, right?

Was that quick and vague enough?  Ok, perfect!  Have a nice flight!!

:)  LUVS!

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Such a guy thing...

On our computer at home, we have our photos rolling through on the screen saver all the time, and I love it.  I swear, every few days I get lost in the slideshow.  And, every few days, I wonder "who the heck is that"! Ha ha... it's true!

Anyhow, just a moment ago, a picture flashed that made me think back and then kick myself because this was a blog post I had in mind MONTHS ago... you know, like right after I took the picture!  Heavens... heavens... help me!

Humor me, we're going to take a little journey back in time.  If I were on a television show, I'd start gazing off into "la la" land and the image would go all squiggly until the "memory" appeared... (que squiggly lines and memory appearing)....

It was the Saturday after Thanksgiving and we were in Santa Cruz.  The whole family decided to saunter over to Costco... we're nuts, what can I say.  Anyhoooooo.... there we are at Costco and I looked at Josh with my "don't get excited, we're not spending a dime" look, and he quickly replied with "I'm heading over to electronics"....

About 30 minutes later, I could only wander so much longer with Sidekick.  Everyone else was shopping, but I was just wandering and trying to help spend everyone else's money.  I told you we weren't going to spend a dime!  So, I figured I'd wander over to the electronics section and see what new "toy" my husband was enthralled with.  Let me also remind you that he was in the electronics section with his brother.  His brother who is like mister "Good Housekeeping" review master on all electronics.  Seriously, the guy knows everything about anything electronic.  He's the one who burst my bubble about 3G.  I knew he'd know the answer, so I said "Hey Jesse, what's 3G stand for?".  I thought I was going to get some fantastic answer about all this snazzy stuff that I have no clue, nor care about... and then he replied with "Third Generation".  Whaaaaa?  That's it?  So dumb.  So boring.  Can you please make up an answer please?  Something more entertaining than "Third Generation".   No wonder they call it 3G, it's way more interesting that way.

I digress.... so I'm wandering over with Sidekick (he's sleeping by the way), and I find this...


 Please tell me how funny it is that two men are staring at a TV and a HUGE chunk of meat is showing on the screen behind them!  HA HA!  Priceless.

This little guy doesn't even know what he missed.  But someday he'll be right there with them.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

On the road again....

So I'm traveling again.  Whenever I'm gone, I bug Josh like crazy to send me at least one morning picture and one night picture of Sidekick.....

So here are a few that I've received this week:

If it doesn't make yours... I don't know what to tell ya.  

Friday, May 6, 2011

This is pretty stinkin' cute...

So, my grandparents live three doors down (note to self: that would be a great name for a band).  It is fabulous.

Having them around to see Sidekick is nothing short of fabulous.  And then sometimes, there's more than fabulous... there's just  moments that take your breath away.

A few weeks ago my grandparents came down to say "hi" (who are we kidding, they were coming to see Sidekick).  They weren't at our house two minutes before my grandpa, did something he hasn't done in years.  But, what can I say, Sidekick brings out a side of him I've never seen, it's absolutely precious.

Well, if that doesn't just melt your heart....

Thursday, May 5, 2011

I know what I said...

Yes, I know I said I'd get better about my blogging.  And guess what.  I know I said that.

I didn't lie.  I simply took a detour.  Detour I tell ya!!  Sheesh... back off.

If you go back a few posts, you'll recall that weeks 1-7 were a bit rough on our little family.  Well, I have to tell you... the rest of the weeks haven't been much more kind in the health department.  As far as love, humor and humility go, we're #1.

We've survived:
Some sort of throat attacking "thing" that "looked like strep" but wasn't
HORRID demon flu
Diarrhea from hell - thanks to the demon flu
Ear infections (both Josh and Sidekick)
Ruptured eardrum (Josh)
Sinus infections
And now...croup.

Good times.  Good times.

Now, I'm not pretending that we're the only people who have been smacked with a freaking 2x4 between the eyes with every mother loving illness out there these last four months.  But for heavens sakes... STOP THE MADNESS!!!!

For THREE WHOLE DAYS, wait did you hear that....    THREE.  WHOLE.  DAYS.  I had a HAPPY, HEALTHY and FUNNY little baby Sidekick!!!  Then, it quickly ended.  Stolen, right out from under us.  Goooooooooooooo!

So, now, I go back to the fact that I know what I said.  And I'm thinking about it.  I really am.  But, the honest to goodness truth is that when I can get some sleep, I get it, I don't blog ;)

(Wash your hands)